Hello Good Morning: The greatest story ever told.
Posted 2 days ago
Posted 2 months ago
HERE AGAIN is the trailer for the return of COMMUNITY.
Yesterday on Twitter, I respectfully reminded internet users that if they like this show, they should consider WATCHING IT, specifically TONIGHT at 8PM.
COMMUNITY is a show that I am proud to play a small part in later this season, and I like it very much, and I hope its hiatus and return from exile will help refocus attention on a show that has truly grown into something absolutely new and brilliant and deserving of your attention.
The problem, of course, is that it reaches as many internet users—young humans who like to watch bits and pieces of things online, or whole things online, sometimes paying for them, some times not.
Other people like waiting for DVDs, or recording things and watching them later.
There is no question that this is the future of watching things. I support this future. And eventually I trust a more evolved ratings system will reveal the scope of this shadow audience that is currently not thoroughly counted.
But for the time being, COMMUNITY is still a television show. You should feel no obligation to like it, or to support it. But if you do want to support it, I would say that tonight is a pretty critical time to do so, and they way you can do that is by WATCHING IT ON TV, and tonight especially WHEN IT IS ON.
This should not be hard. We like to watch TV. I have been told by a highly placed person within the COMMUNITY world, codenamed Hale McJoel, that the preference is for you to watch it as it airs, whether or not you are a Nielsen family.
And for my own sake, I hope you will do this, or they will throw my episode into the river. They have promised me this.
But my interest is not purely selfish. TV ratings are archaic, weird, arcane. People legitimately don’t know HOW to support the things they love. And how much more amazing could TV be if we could efficiently mobilize our support in a way that makes a real difference at the right time?
I’m sure BORED TO DEATH would like to know.
As a meager start in educating ourselves, here is what Nielsen SAYS about ratings; and here is an interesting BREAKDOWN from TV By The Numbers about what views are counted and how.
I haven’t been able to drill down through all of this data yet, but here’s more or less what I’ve gleaned that may augment your WATCHING OF COMMUNITY ON TELEVISION TONIGHT AT 8, if you so choose.
1) spread the word about the airtime and encourage people to watch it live. You may not be a Nielsen box owner, but your message might reach one.
2) ask your mom and dad to watch Community live, the same way you got them to vote for Obama, because they actually watch TV and know other people who do.
3) if you have a COMMUNITY viewing party, ask your guests to individually DVR it and then playback that recording—WITH COMMERCIALS—within 24 hours.
4) or just ask them to watch it live, and then tweet and tumbl ALL ABOUT IT during airtime.
5) if you steal things, maybe consider: STOP IT. But if you believe your stealing things is part of your expression of your love for a thing, then do your karmic part and spread the word and suggest that other people watch it ON TELEVISION TONIGHT AT 8PM.
Again, none of this is obligatory IN THE LEAST. Do what you feel like. ENJOY BASKETSBALL IF YOU HAVE TO.
I only ask you, friends of the Internet, as a creator and consumer of culture, to not confuse your enthusiasm for a thing—expressed in tweets and tumbls and comments and torrents and downloads and upthumbs and gifs—with actual support for a thing that you want to last.
And if you want that thing to last, that means supporting it in the way that, for better or for worse, it makes its money: watching it as it airs, buying tickets to it when it comes out, buying it when it is available, seeing it when it comes to town.
And with that in mind, I will also callously point out that I will be at the State Theater of State College, PA TOMORROW NIGHT, and I would love to talk this over with you there when I am BAREFOOT and FULL OF @colleenky’s SCOTCH.
But if you must choose, just watch COMMUNITY tonight at 8, or support something or someone else you love.
That is all.
(Source: areasofmyexpertise)
Posted 3 months ago
Yeah, it’s probably time to cancel the DVD portion of my Netflix subscription.
Posted 4 months ago
Megan Amram: Paula Deen’s Health Food Cookbook
Recently, Paula Deen has admitted that she’s had Type II Diabetes for years. Accordingly, she’s putting out a cookbook of healthy food. Here are some excerpts!
FRUIT SALAD
INGREDIENTS:
1 lb. bag of Skittles
3 cups ranch dressing
DIRECTIONS:
Mix well. Serve room temperature.
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Posted 4 months ago
Photo posts now support Animated GIFs up to
1MB. Woo!GIF by iwdrm featuring Blow-Up (1966)
Because what tumblr doesn’t have enough of is fucking animated gifs.
Posted 5 months ago
![areasofmyexpertise:
“Leon Cooperman the Omega Advisors Inc. chairman and former CEO of Goldman Sachs Group Inc. (GS)’s money-management unit…. [wrote that] Capitalists “are not the scourge that they are too often made out to be….’
“[Now] Cooperman, 68, said in an interview that he can’t walk through the dining room of St. Andrews Country Club in Boca Raton, Florida, without being thanked for speaking up. At least four people expressed their gratitude on Dec. 5 while he was eating an egg-white omelet, he said.”
***
Max Abelson wrote a story today for Bloomberg about the hurt feelings of many bankers and CEOs who feel they are for some weird reason being cast as the villains in “A Christmas Carol” the bleak economy.
Allow me to tell you a story.
At one point on my book tour, I was approached in the airport by a former banker.
He told me he was a life long Democrat and a huge fan of The Daily Show, but he also felt that Jon and the show had it all wrong.
(Because he was a multi millionaire, he has the right to just start critizing anyone in the airport he wants.)
He said that the bankers were not the bad guys in the subprime mortgage scandal and near financial collapse that they had everything to do with. They were just doing what the government allowed them to do.*
And so: he felt it was unfair and hurtful to make the bankers out to be the bad guys.
I was very happy to finally have the chance to say this to someone’s face:
I told him that as a freelance person, I had no idea how much money I would make this year. I never do.
But during the previous few years, due to hard work and exceedingly strange circumstance, I had made more money than I had ever conceived of making in my life. I had also paid a huge bucket of local, state, and city taxes, and that was JUST FINE WITH ME.
Because I knew that I had very little to worry about when it came to providing for my family and me this holiday season. And I suspected he didn’t as well.
But there are many, many people who are VERY worried about this. And out of consideration to them, it seemed to me a little unseemly for wealthy to care so much about the names they might be called.
“From my point of view,” I said, “I think you and me and other wealthy people should just suck it in and take it.”
I have never said anything like this out loud to a stranger before in my life, never mind a stranger who has money; but as I am now a Deranged Millionaire, I now have that right to speak my mind.
Naturally, he just ignored what I said and offered to consult on the Daily Show if we wanted.
***
LOOK: I do not mean to suggest that anyone in this piece is a monster. I am sure they are smart, innovative, and good to their families and employees. I respect success IMMENSELY and I am a capitalist.
However, I know better now than ever that wealth deranges.
It disconnects you from the world. It inflates your self-regard. It allows you to believe that four people congratulating you at your country club makes you a GODDAMN HERO OF AMERICA.
And it leads you to say things like former banker John A. Allison said in the article linked:
“Instead of an attack on the 1 percent, let’s call it an attack on the very productive.”
Because of course, you non-millionaires are not productive, and not worthy.
I know this from experience: when wealth takes hold, the brain creates a new reality in order to explain your new fortune over the poor fortunes of others.
It is not enough to say, as some of these men do, “I am wealthy, and I got some lucky advantages, but I also worked really hard and found some opportunities, and I am proud of it.”
You must instead say: “my extreme wealth proves that I DESERVE to be wealthy, because I am better.”
This logical fallacy is the core of Social Darwinism, but you’d think after a while that Homo Robber Baronensis would have bred some thicker skin.
But it’s like no one around these rich and powerful men have ever called them a name or even disagreed with them!
Oh! That’s right: no one has. At least, not for a long time.
Well, some of these guys are childish, and some of them are creeps.
That is all.
AMAZING IMAGE OF ME AS A POOR DERANGED MILLIONAIRE COURTESY: THE AMAZING APE-LAD.
*This was his actual argument. It is not an argument an adult makes. It’s the actual argument that TEENAGERS make at prestigious high schools where cheating is rampant: everyone was doing it, and no teacher was stopping them. So they WERE FORCED to cheat in order to be competitive. TEENAGERS ARE NOT JOB CREATORS.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwiwq9TMyY1r2luwko1_1280.jpg)
“Leon Cooperman the Omega Advisors Inc. chairman and former CEO of Goldman Sachs Group Inc. (GS)’s money-management unit…. [wrote that] Capitalists “are not the scourge that they are too often made out to be….’
“[Now] Cooperman, 68, said in an interview that he can’t walk through the dining room of St. Andrews Country Club in Boca Raton, Florida, without being thanked for speaking up. At least four people expressed their gratitude on Dec. 5 while he was eating an egg-white omelet, he said.”
***
Max Abelson wrote a story today for Bloomberg about the hurt feelings of many bankers and CEOs who feel they are for some weird reason being cast as the villains in
“A Christmas Carol”the bleak economy.Allow me to tell you a story.
At one point on my book tour, I was approached in the airport by a former banker.
He told me he was a life long Democrat and a huge fan of The Daily Show, but he also felt that Jon and the show had it all wrong.
(Because he was a multi millionaire, he has the right to just start critizing anyone in the airport he wants.)
He said that the bankers were not the bad guys in the subprime mortgage scandal and near financial collapse that they had everything to do with. They were just doing what the government allowed them to do.*
And so: he felt it was unfair and hurtful to make the bankers out to be the bad guys.
I was very happy to finally have the chance to say this to someone’s face:
I told him that as a freelance person, I had no idea how much money I would make this year. I never do.
But during the previous few years, due to hard work and exceedingly strange circumstance, I had made more money than I had ever conceived of making in my life. I had also paid a huge bucket of local, state, and city taxes, and that was JUST FINE WITH ME.
Because I knew that I had very little to worry about when it came to providing for my family and me this holiday season. And I suspected he didn’t as well.
But there are many, many people who are VERY worried about this. And out of consideration to them, it seemed to me a little unseemly for wealthy to care so much about the names they might be called.
“From my point of view,” I said, “I think you and me and other wealthy people should just suck it in and take it.”
I have never said anything like this out loud to a stranger before in my life, never mind a stranger who has money; but as I am now a Deranged Millionaire, I now have that right to speak my mind.
Naturally, he just ignored what I said and offered to consult on the Daily Show if we wanted.
***
LOOK: I do not mean to suggest that anyone in this piece is a monster. I am sure they are smart, innovative, and good to their families and employees. I respect success IMMENSELY and I am a capitalist.
However, I know better now than ever that wealth deranges.
It disconnects you from the world. It inflates your self-regard. It allows you to believe that four people congratulating you at your country club makes you a GODDAMN HERO OF AMERICA.
And it leads you to say things like former banker John A. Allison said in the article linked:
“Instead of an attack on the 1 percent, let’s call it an attack on the very productive.”
Because of course, you non-millionaires are not productive, and not worthy.
I know this from experience: when wealth takes hold, the brain creates a new reality in order to explain your new fortune over the poor fortunes of others.
It is not enough to say, as some of these men do, “I am wealthy, and I got some lucky advantages, but I also worked really hard and found some opportunities, and I am proud of it.”
You must instead say: “my extreme wealth proves that I DESERVE to be wealthy, because I am better.”
This logical fallacy is the core of Social Darwinism, but you’d think after a while that Homo Robber Baronensis would have bred some thicker skin.
But it’s like no one around these rich and powerful men have ever called them a name or even disagreed with them!
Oh! That’s right: no one has. At least, not for a long time.
Well, some of these guys are childish, and some of them are creeps.
That is all.
AMAZING IMAGE OF ME AS A POOR DERANGED MILLIONAIRE COURTESY: THE AMAZING APE-LAD.
*This was his actual argument. It is not an argument an adult makes. It’s the actual argument that TEENAGERS make at prestigious high schools where cheating is rampant: everyone was doing it, and no teacher was stopping them. So they WERE FORCED to cheat in order to be competitive. TEENAGERS ARE NOT JOB CREATORS.
(Source: areasofmyexpertise)
Posted 6 months ago
Clothes, Words, Fish.
Clothes should have words on them like fish should have clothes on them.
